Jibs so far:

2

Jabs so far:

1

Dear Friends,




I wanted to send out some sort of holiday greeting to my friends and

family, but it is so difficult in today's world to know exactly what to say without

offending someone. So I met with my attorney, and on his advice

I wish to say the following:



Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes

for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress,

non-addictive gender neutral, celebration of the winter solstice

holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the

religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your

choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or

traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or

secular traditions at all.



I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and

medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally

accepted calendar year 2007, but not without due respect for the

calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society

have helped make America great (not to imply that America is

necessarily greater than any other country or is the only "AMERICA" in

the western hemisphere), and without regard to the race, creed, color,

age, physical ability, religious faith, or sexual preference of the

wishes.



By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms: This

greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely

transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no

promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for

her/himself or others, and is void where prohibited by law, and is

revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted

to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for

a period of one year, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday

greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement

of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the

wisher.



Disclaimer: No trees were harmed in the sending of this message,

however, a significant number of electrons were inconvenienced.