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Rules To Enter Idaho....

The following list of rules applies to each person as they enter Idaho. Learn 'em & remember 'em.

* Pull up your droopy pants. You look like an idiot.

* Let's get this straight; it's called a "gravel road". I drive a pickup truck because I need to. No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.

* They are horses, cattle & sheep. That's what they smell like to you. They smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? I-84 goes east and west, I-95 goes north and south. Pick one.

* So you have a $60,000 dollar car. We're impressed. We have quarter-million dollar air conditioned tractors that we drive 3 weeks a year.

* So every person in every pickup waves. It's being friendly. Try to understand the concept.

* If that cell phone rings while a bunch of geese are coming in, we WILL shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.

* Yeah, we eat walleye & rainbow trout. You really want sushi & caviar? It's available at the corner bait shop.

* The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.

* We open doors for women. That is applied to all women,regardless of age.

* No, there's no "vegetarian special" on the menu. Order steak, or you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham & turkey.

* When we set out the spread on a table, there are three main dishes:
meats, vegetables, and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper, and
A-1.

* You bring "coke" into my house, it better be brown, wet and served
over ice.

* You bring "Mary Jane" into my house and she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.

* High School Football is as important here as the Vikings or the
Seattle Seahawks and a dang site more fun to watch.

* Yeah, we have golf courses. Don't hit the water hazards - it spooks the fish.

* Colleges? Try Boise State University, University of Idaho or Idaho
State University. Students and graduates come outta there with an education plus a love for God and country, and they still wave at passing pickups when they come for the holidays.

* We have more folks per capita in the Navy, Army, Marines, and Air
Force than any other state, so "Don't Mess with Idaho."

If you do, prepare to get your fanny kicked by the best.