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The Worst Star Trek TNG Plot ever

by twodudes, stardate: 11.2.1992

     The enterprise is cruising the galaxy when Q shows up.  He has no one-liners because the producers of the show have just changed writers. 

    During the course of the show, they come upon  a planet which is going through an ice age.  While exploring the planet, Geordi and Data and some extra enter a cave where they find a federation officer frozen in a block of ice.

    Data, trying to understand the situation, goes into "processing" mode (hoping that his contacts don't pop out while he does that annoying REM movement with his eyes open.  You know, the contacts that his creator made to make Data look so incredibly human.) 

     When he's done three or four seconds later (as compared with the 5 x 10^-9 nanoseconds it takes him to speak some alien language that the enterprise has only encourtered once in its travels), he comes up with the plot of Encino Man and tells Geordi that they must thaw the officer out. 

    To make a long story short, the officer ends up being James T. Kirk (which was vacationing there when a comet hit the planet and blocked out solar rays.)

    Kirk completiely impressed by the "new" Enterprise, and then also having some minor brain damage from being frozen for 70 years, asks Q to give  him the power to run the ship for a while.  After Q, wholeheartedly grants Kirk this, Kirk realizes that he doesn't know how to run the ship and instead of swallowing his pride and asking Q for more help, he decides to self destruct the ship in a rant involving something about if he can't drive no one will. 

    After the countdown is over and the Enterprise has been blown to pieces, the camera pans left and comes upon a shuttlecraft.  The inside of the craft is shown, and there in the pilot's seat, is Lt. Deanna Troi, doing some stupid experiment on the feelings of frozen plant life on the planet below.  Yes, Deanna Troi, the sole survivor of the Enterprise crew.                      

The End