Jibs so far:

2

Jabs so far:

0

A dumb drunk was proudly showing off his new apartment to a few of his friends late one night. He led the way to his bedroom where, in the back, stood a big brass gong and a mallet.

"What's with the gong?" asked one of the friends. "That ain't no clock," said the drunk, "that's a talking clock." "Are you serious?" asked another friend. "Yeah." "How's it work?"

The drunk picked up the mallet and said, "Here, I'll show you." He gave the gong a good WHACK!! and waited a few seconds. Finally, a voice said, "You asshole! It's three-fifteen in the friggin' morning!!"