Jokebox

Ever Wonder About This?

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 Unanswered Questions

1. Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards: NAIVE

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2. Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool? (My sentiments exactly)

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  3. OK.... so if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the "Jags" and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the "Bucs," what does that make the Tennessee Titans?

 4. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...does that mean that one enjoys it?

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 5. There are three religious truths: a. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah. b. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian faith. c. Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store or at Hooters.

 6. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

 7. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

  8. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?Joke Image

9. Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with? 

 

 10. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racecar is not called a racist? 

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 11. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one? 

 12 If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

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 13. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

14. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks? 

 15. What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men? 

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 16. I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me .....they're cramming for their final exam.

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17. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? toothpicks?Joke Image

18. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?

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19 If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for? 

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 20. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive. 

 21. Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag? 

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 22. If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose? 

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 23. Whatever happened to Preparations A through G? As income tax time approaches, did you ever notice: When you put the two words "The" and "IRS" together it spells "THEIRS"? Have a great day!

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laynerl's Avatar
Uploaded by: laynerl
Date: 09/09/06
Views: 10,596
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Comments (Add Comment)

lafalot's avatar by lafalot Sat Sep 09 10:59:38 PDT 2006 (2 years ago)

Great questions. They made my day! :-D :-D :-D :-D

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Sports1's avatar by Sports1 Sat Sep 09 15:22:00 PDT 2006 (2 years ago)

:-* :-* :-* :-* NICE ONE!!!! WHEN YOU PUT WATER IN A KETTLE & HEAT THE WATER. WHEN THE WATER BOILS, WHY DO PEOPLE SAY "THE KETTLES BOILING"?? :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D

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tomyolch's avatar by tomyolch Sat Sep 09 16:53:44 PDT 2006 (2 years ago)

:-D :-D :-D GOOD STUFF!! HOW ABOUT THIS,IF A SHEEP LAUGHS,WOULD THAT BE CALLED,"BAJA"? :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D

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huberjack's avatar by huberjack Sun Sep 10 13:31:51 PDT 2006 (2 years ago)

love it great stuff.........thanks!

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hunterr0's avatar by hunterr0 Mon Sep 11 07:24:24 PDT 2006 (2 years ago)

I asked GW.Bush the same questions, he said he would talk to god and get back to me, anyone else receive the e-mail yet!!! While discussing these pressing issues with the Pres. he said "what do you think I am scientific the jury is still out, I have no intelligent design!" Laynerl great questions, but why is the religious right of the country so stupid that they believe everything the bushevik says, now there is a question to ponder! :-D :-D :-D

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markclarke1's avatar by markclarke1 Sun Mar 02 21:42:48 PST 2008 (7 months ago)

Why is the media-fed public convinced that the religious right is so stupid that they believe everthing the bushevik says? That's the real question.

Joker's avatar by Joker Wed Sep 13 19:09:37 PDT 2006 (2 years ago)

:-D :-D :-D Makes you go Hmmm. :-D :-D

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Patio_Furniture's avatar by Patio_Furniture Wed Oct 11 06:43:04 PDT 2006 (2 years ago)

17: Toothpicks! :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D #23 : Theirs ! :-( :-@ :-( :-@ :-( :-@ :-(

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TexarkanaBaby's avatar by TexarkanaBaby Wed Oct 11 21:01:29 PDT 2006 (2 years ago)

:-D :-D :-D :-D :-D Darn good questions! :-D :-D :-D :-D

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coderguy's avatar by coderguy Thu Oct 12 13:54:50 PDT 2006 (2 years ago)

;-) ;-) Quality observations there, I can dig it :-D :-D

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Turtlespal's avatar by Turtlespal Sat Nov 18 13:56:11 PST 2006 (23 months ago)

Some of George Carlin's best.

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Manarion's avatar by Manarion Tue Apr 17 14:29:20 PDT 2007 (18 months ago)

Actually, for the first one, here in Oregon it's illegal to smoke in restaurants at all...for a reason similiar as to what you posted.

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purplefuzzydeathmachine's avatar by purplefuzzydeathmachine Wed Jan 30 06:14:42 PST 2008 (8 months ago)

Love it love it!!! These really made me laugh. It's certainly food for thought, exspecially the "theirs" thing, totally didn't catch that!!

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Haha

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