Jibs so far:

5

Jabs so far:

2

Okay lets sum it all up here. A nice warm summer day, against life behind the computer.

FIGHT!

1.
Summer’s Day: Around for one season.

Internet: Around all year long.

Winner: The Internet.

2.
Summer’s Day: Lots of pretty girls wearing next to nothing.

Internet: Lots of pretty girls wearing nothing.

Winner: The Internet.

3.
Summer’s Day: You sunburn and develop skin cancer from solar rays.

Internet: Your skin is protected from ultraviolet radiation by your parent’s basement ceiling.

Winner: The Internet.

4.
Summer’s Day: Traditional summer camp counselors scream at you to hike, swim, climb mountains, etc.

Internet: Computer camp counselors calmly teach you how to download free MP3’s, hack into your sister’s blog, “find” credit card numbers, etc.

Winner: The Internet.

5.
Summer’s Day: Outdoor summer jobs such as landscaping, mowing lawns, and painting houses require a great deal of physical exertion.

Internet: Your indoor job of selling virtual items in online multiplayer games for real hard cash requires little or no physical exertion (beyond getting more Frito’s from the kitchen).

Winner: The Internet.

6.
Summer’s Day: Eating food outdoors attracts annoying insects such as ants, bees, and mosquitoes.

Internet: Eating food indoors attracts the attention of your cat “Larry”, who merely stares at the burrito going into your mouth.

Winner: The Internet.

7.
Summer’s Day: A lot of people drown at the beach.

Internet: Very few people drown in their bathtubs.

Winner: The Internet.

8.
Summer’s Day: A lot of people are eaten by sharks at the beach.

Internet: Very few people are eaten by sharks in their bathtubs.

Winner: The Internet.

9.
Summer’s Day: The flowers in bloom smell nice.

Internet: The pizza you order after nine uninterrupted hours of playing “Counter-Strike” online smells nicer.

Winner: The Internet.

10.
Summer’s Day: No school during the summer months.

Internet: You post your homework in your blog for other people to complete via the “comments” section. You’ve done this since Grade 3.

Winner: The Internet.

11.
Summer’s Day: Having an outdoor BBQ is fun.

Internet: Your computer has never emitted a thirty foot pillar of flame due to an impatient Uncle Walter and excess “BBQ starter” lighting fluid.

Winner: The Internet.

12.
Summer’s Day: You get some quiet time by sending the kids to a two-week summer camp.

Internet: You get some quiet time when your kids get addicted to “EverQuest” for seven months.

Winner: The Internet.

13.
Summer’s Day: You look cool paddling a canoe.

Internet: You look cooler getting WiFi on your laptop in a canoe.

Winner: The Internet.

14.
Summer’s Day: Roasting marshmallows over an open campfire is fun.

Internet: Flaming strangers in chatrooms by insulting their mothers is more fun.

Winner: The Internet.

15.
Summer’s Day: Throwing a Frisbee is an activity most people enjoy.

Internet: Throwing an America Online Free Trial CD against the wall is an activity everyone enjoys.

Winner: The Internet.


16.
Summer’s Day: If you are a woman, you feel a little shy wearing a bikini on the beach.

Internet: If you are a woman, you don’t feel shy at all about posting pictures of your drunken, unconscious ex-boyfriend wearing a bikini on the Internet.

Winner: The Internet.

17.
Summer’s Day: When summer ends, winter arrives.

Internet: When your Internet access crashes, Life as you know it ends.

Winner: …..still The Internet.