Jokebox
Wife From Hell
- Jibs so far:
- 3
- Jabs so far:
- 1
WIFE FROM HELL
A police officer pulls over a speeding car.
The officer says, ' I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir.'
The driver says, 'Gee, officer I had it on cruise
control at 60; perhaps your radar gun needs
calibrating.'
Not looking up from her knitting the wife says, 'Now
don't be silly dear, you know this car doesn't have
cruise control!
As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls , 'Can't you
please keep your mouth shut for once??!!'
The wife smiles demurely and says, 'You should be
thankful your radar detector went off when it did.'
As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers
at his wife and says through clenched teeth, 'DAMN it,
woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?!!!!!!'
The officer frowns and says, 'And I notice that
you're not wearing your seat belt, sir. That's an
automatic $75 fine.' The driver says, 'Yeah, well,
you see officer, I had it on, but took it off
when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket.'
The wife says, 'Now, dear, you know very well that you
didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat
belt when you're driving.'
And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket
the driver turns to his wife and barks, 'WILL YOU
PLEASE SHUT THE HELL UP?!!!!!'
The officer looks over at the woman and asks, 'Does
your husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?'
(I LOVE THIS PART....)
'Only when he's been drinking'.
A police officer pulls over a speeding car.
The officer says, ' I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir.'
The driver says, 'Gee, officer I had it on cruise
control at 60; perhaps your radar gun needs
calibrating.'
Not looking up from her knitting the wife says, 'Now
don't be silly dear, you know this car doesn't have
cruise control!
As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls , 'Can't you
please keep your mouth shut for once??!!'
The wife smiles demurely and says, 'You should be
thankful your radar detector went off when it did.'
As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers
at his wife and says through clenched teeth, 'DAMN it,
woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?!!!!!!'
The officer frowns and says, 'And I notice that
you're not wearing your seat belt, sir. That's an
automatic $75 fine.' The driver says, 'Yeah, well,
you see officer, I had it on, but took it off
when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket.'
The wife says, 'Now, dear, you know very well that you
didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat
belt when you're driving.'
And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket
the driver turns to his wife and barks, 'WILL YOU
PLEASE SHUT THE HELL UP?!!!!!'
The officer looks over at the woman and asks, 'Does
your husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?'
(I LOVE THIS PART....)
'Only when he's been drinking'.
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