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GAMES FOR WHEN WE ARE OLDER
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GAMES FOR WHEN
WE ARE OLDER
1. Sag, you're It.
2. Hide and go pee.
3. 20 questions shouted into your good
ear.
4. Kick the bucket
5. Red Rover, Red Rover, the nurse says Bend
Over.
6. Musical recliners.
7. Simon says something
incoherent.
8. Pin the Toupee on the bald guy
SIGNS OF MENOPAUSE :
1 You sell your home heating system at a yard
sale.
2. You have to write post-it notes with your
kids' names on them.
3. You change your underwear after a
sneeze.
OLD IS WHEN:
1. Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out
of your face.
2. You don't care where your spouse goes, just
as long as you don't have to go along.
3. Getting a little action means I don't need
fiber today.
4. Getting lucky means you find your car in
the parking lot.
5. An all-nighter means not getting up to
pee!
Thoughts for the weekend:
Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up
our life we could simply press 'Ctr Alt Delete' and start all
over?
If raising children was going to be easy, it
never would have started with something called labor!
Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat
cells live forever.
Ponderisms:
I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I
learned that most people die of natural causes.
Garden Rule: When weeding, the best way to
make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to
pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable
plant.
The easiest way to find something lost around
the house is to buy a replacement
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out
alive anyway.
Have you noticed since everyone has a
camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used
to?
In the 60's, people took acid to make the
world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make
it normal.
How is it one careless match can start a
forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a
campfire?
Who was the first person to look at a cow and
say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink
whatever comes out?'
Who was the first person to say, 'See that
chicken there? I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its
butt.'
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is
there a song about him?
Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you
get undressed if he's going to look up there anyway?
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the
bottle?
But Most Of All, Remember!
A Good Friend Is Like A Good Bra. Hard to
Find, Supportive, Comfortable, And Always Close To Your
Heart!
Haha
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