Jibs so far:

4

Jabs so far:

0

Martini                                        Beer

Manhattan                                  Steak

Margarita                                    Lobster

Bourbon and diet                         The remote control

Bloody Mary                                A bowl of Ice Cream

Gin and Tonic                             Chocolate

Glass of Merlot                            Sex

Wild Turkey and water                 Trip to the Casino

It should be presumed that I won't ever get any better.  When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my appointed person and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes and call it a day.  At this point, it is time to call the New Orleans Jazz Funeral Band to come do their thing at my funeral, and ask all of my friends to raise their glasses to toast the good times we have had.

Signature: ___________________________ Date: ___________________________

NOTE: I also hear that in Ireland they have a Nursing Home with a Pub. The patients are happier and they have a lot more visitors. Some of them don't even need embalming when their time comes. If anyone knows the name of this happy place PLEASE pass it on!