Jibs so far:

3

Jabs so far:

5

God decides it's time he has a vacation. So he asks St. Peter for his assistance. St. Peter says, "Why don't you go to Mercury?" 
"Oh no!" says God, "I went there 25,000 years ago and got the worst sunburn of my life." 
St. Peter says, "How about Pluto?"  "Oh no!" says God,
"I went there 10,000 years ago, broke my leg skiing." 
St. Peter says, " How about earth?" 

"Oh no!" says God,
"I went there 2,000 years ago knocked up some Jewish chick and I've been hearing about it ever since".