ROASTED BULL ELEPHANT

1 Elephant Roast 2 trash cans scalding hot water
1/2 box car bread crumbs 50lbs diced hot peppers
3 crates cut up celery 1 keg salt
3 mailbags chopped garlic cloves 2 oil drums butter

Blast off the rear end of one elephant to make large opening for
stuffing. Mix 1/2 boxcar of bread crumbs, 3 mailbags chopped garlic
and 2 trash cans scalding water to moisten. Add 50 pounds diced hot
peppers and 10 shovelfuls of salt. Place in empty cement mixer and
stir gently with a railroad tie. Skewer elephant with 1 redwood tree
(hickory can be used if you're a conservationist). Close rearend with
telephone cable. Place each end of redwood on a 50-foot crane for
support. Cook over bonfire for 3 months. (An additional month is
needed for every ton over 10,000 pounds.) Remove from fire and place
in airplane hangar for 2 weeks to cool. Baste the butter over the
meat with a strong warehouse broom. Slice with chainsaw and serve.