Jibs so far:

3

Jabs so far:

2

A thief in Paris planned to steal some paintings from the Louvre. After carefully planning, he got past security, stole the paintings, and made it safely to his van.

 However, he was captured only two blocks away when his van ran out of gas. When asked how he could mastermind such a crime and then make such an obvious error, he replied:

"Monsieur, that's the reason I stole the paintings. I had no Monet to make the Van Gogh."

 ...

And you thought I didn't have De Gaulle to post this!!!