Jokebox
Scottish shark hunting
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The pope was in Aberdeen on his tour of
Scotland in His Popemobile which was was driving along the golden
sands when there was an enormous commotion heard just off the
headland. They rushed to see what it was and upon approaching the
scene the Pope noticed, just outside the surf, a hapless man
wearing an English soccer jersey struggling frantically to
free himself from the jaws of a twenty foot shark.
At that moment a speedboat containing three men wearing Scottish
soccor jerseys roared into view from around the lighthouse.
Spontaneously, one of the men took aim and fired a harpoon into
the shark's ribs, immobilizing it instantly. The other two
reached out and pulled the Englishman from the water and then,
using long clubs, beat the shark to death.
They bundled the bleeding, semi conscious man into the speed boat
along with the dead shark and were preparing for a hasty retreat
when they heard frantic shouting from the shore. It was of course
the Pope - he was summoning them to the beach. Upon reaching the
shore they were greeted by His Holiness who was in raptures about
the rescue and said,
"I give you my blessing for your brave actions. I had heard that
there were some racist xenophobic people trying to divide
Scotland and England, but now I have seen with my own eyes that
this is not true. I can see that your society is a truly
enlightened example of racial harmony and could serve as a model
on which other nations could follow."
He blessed them all and drove off in a cloud of dust.
As he departed, the harpoonist asked the others "Who was that??"
"That," one answered, "was his Holiness the Pope. He is in direct
contact with God and has access to all God's wisdom."
"Well," the harpoonist replied, "that may be but he doesn't know a damn thing
about shark hunting. How's that bait holding up?"
At that moment a speedboat containing three men wearing Scottish
soccor jerseys roared into view from around the lighthouse.
Spontaneously, one of the men took aim and fired a harpoon into
the shark's ribs, immobilizing it instantly. The other two
reached out and pulled the Englishman from the water and then,
using long clubs, beat the shark to death.
They bundled the bleeding, semi conscious man into the speed boat
along with the dead shark and were preparing for a hasty retreat
when they heard frantic shouting from the shore. It was of course
the Pope - he was summoning them to the beach. Upon reaching the
shore they were greeted by His Holiness who was in raptures about
the rescue and said,
"I give you my blessing for your brave actions. I had heard that
there were some racist xenophobic people trying to divide
Scotland and England, but now I have seen with my own eyes that
this is not true. I can see that your society is a truly
enlightened example of racial harmony and could serve as a model
on which other nations could follow."
He blessed them all and drove off in a cloud of dust.
As he departed, the harpoonist asked the others "Who was that??"
"That," one answered, "was his Holiness the Pope. He is in direct
contact with God and has access to all God's wisdom."
"Well," the harpoonist replied, "that may be but he doesn't know a damn thing
about shark hunting. How's that bait holding up?"
Haha
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