Jibs so far:

3

Jabs so far:

1

 Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such simple

creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding

plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack.

You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white

T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car

Mechanics tell you the truth.

The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station

restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and

think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay.

Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.

People never stare at your chest when you are talking to them.

The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. New shoes

don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time; phone

conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A

5-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

You can open all of your own jars.

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone

forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more

than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are

unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays

its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe even

decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life. Your belly usually hides your big

hips. One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons. You

can wear shorts no matter what your legs look like. You can "do" your

nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing

a mustache.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25

minutes. No wonder men are happier.

Send this to the women who can handle it and to the men who will enjoy

reading it

.