Jibs so far:

3

Jabs so far:

1

Some really clever puns! ...

 

And Some Other PUNS!

 

* I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

 

* Police were called to a daycare center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

 

* Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

 

* The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.

 

* To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

 

* When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.

 

* The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

 

* A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

 

* A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened criminal.

 

* Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking.

 

* We'll never run out of math teachers because they always multiply.

 

* When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U C L A.

 

* The math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a number on it.

 

* The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.

 

* The dead batteries were given out free of charge.

 

* If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory.

 

* A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.

 

* What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway)

 

* A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two-tired.

 

* Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.

 

* Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat miner.

 

* When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

 

* The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.

 

* A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France , resulted in Linoleum Blownapart.

 

* You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

 

* He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.

 

* A calendar's days are numbered.

 

* A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine.

 

* A boiled egg is hard to beat.

 

* He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

 

* A plateau is a high form of flattery.

 

* Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

 

* When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.

 

* When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.