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POLICE OFFICER COMMENTS WHEN GIVING T...
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Police Officer Comments When Giving Tickets Sixteen Police Comments were taken off actual police car videos around the country:
16 "You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through."
#15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while."
# 14 "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."
#13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
#12 "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you."
#11 "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"
#10 "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"
#9 "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."
#8 "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"
#7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop."
#6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."
#5 "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."
#4 "How big were those 'Just two beers' you say you had?"
#3 "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."
#2 "I'm glad to hear that Chief (of Police) Hawker is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail."
AND THE WINNER IS....
#1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here."
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Comments (Add Comment)
"be quiet remember rodney king" :-D
reply:-D :-D :-D they put up with so much crap, nice to see the humor in them! ;-)
reply:-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D Ouch! I hope I never hear that last one! ;-) :-D :-D
replyawesome joke!!!!! :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-( :-) :-( :-) some real good ones i have never heard
reply:-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D best be thinkin again :-D :-D
replyA women had sex with a police officer, she stated, "I never had fuzz in my naval before" :-D
replyThat crap about quotas is a bunch of BS. Just take notice at the end of April and beginning of May. There are more cops out then any other time of the month.
reply:-) :-) great collection....lol... :-D :-D :-D
reply:-) :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D
replyyeah right :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D
reply:-O Whoa, I think they've had a bad day, or bad year! :-@ Maybe they've been on the job too long :-D :-D :-D
replyBeen there, done that....on the wrong end of the ticket. :-( :-) ;-)
replyJust where is that fair where they have monkeys running around pooping all over? 8-| :-D :-D :-D :-D
replyI can remember a #4 incident many years ago...I said just 2 beers officer...failed to mention they were quarts!...They let me go!!! :-D :-D :-D ;-)
reply:-D :-D :-D bless our officers! :-* :-* :-*
replyI didn't know officers were such good comedians! :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D
replyAnd that is the bottom line ;-) ;-) ;-)
reply