Jokebox

Redneck Churches?

Jibs so far:
3
Jabs so far:
1
1. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ...

The finance committee refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a chandelier because none of the members knows how to play one.

2. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ... People ask, when they learn that Jesus fed the 5000, whether the two fish were bass or catfish, and what bait was used to catch 'em.

3. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ... When the pastor says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering," five guys and two women stand up.

4. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ... Opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday.

5. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if... A member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because "It ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get out of" (Love it!)

6. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ... The choir is known as the "OK Chorale".

7. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ... In a congregation of 500 members, there are only seven last names in the church directory.

8. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ... People think "rapture" is what you get when you lift something too heavy.

9. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ... The baptismal pool is a #2 galvanized "Wheeling" washtub.

10. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if .  The choir robes were donated by (and embroidered with the logo from) Billy Bob's Barbecue.

11. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if   The collection plates are really hubcaps from a' 56 Chevy.

12. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if .  Instead of a bell you are called to service by a duck call.

13. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if   The minister and his wife drive matching pickup trucks.

14. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if .  The communion wine is Boone's Farm "Tickled Pink".

15. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if... "Thou shall not covet" applies to huntin' dogs, too.

16. You know You're in a Redneck Church if ...  The final words of the benediction are, "Y'all come back now, Ya hear".

God Bless and don't fergit at say yer prayers!
 

Aslan's Avatar
Uploaded by: Aslan
Category: Other & Random
Date: 02/08/06
Views: 1,299
Description: A few signs to help you know...

Comments (Add Comment)

blueeyedgunslinger's avatar by blueeyedgunslinger Fri Oct 27 05:29:08 PDT 2006 (23 months ago)

Alright, I realize these are meant just as a joke, but being from the country down here in Alabama I find that numbers 2, 7, 13, 15, and 16 apply to me and mine! :-O

reply

straw04's avatar by straw04 Fri Oct 27 05:39:31 PDT 2006 (23 months ago)

Yep, I've been to one of those!! ;-) :-D :-D :-D

reply

barbikins's avatar by barbikins Sun Oct 29 13:41:22 PST 2006 (23 months ago)

:-D :-D :-D I love it! :-D :-D :-D

reply

Haha

"Unusual Camel Ride"
Title
"Unusual Camel Ride"
Info
Length: 2:11 | Views: 115
Category
Category: Sexy Funny
Submitter
mark1800's Avatar
Uploaded by mark1800 on 10/10/08
Jibs:
4
| Jabs:
0
Beverly Hills Chihuahua Movie Review from Spill.com
Title
Beverly Hills Chihuahua Movie Review from Spill.com
Info
Length: 3:43 | Views: 79
Category
Category: TV, Music & Movies
Submitter
SpillCrew's Avatar
Uploaded by SpillCrew on 10/10/08
Jibs:
1
| Jabs:
0
Maxim's "Hot" Politicians. Wheelchair "Swami" Bob reads minds!
Title
Maxim's "Hot" Politicians. Wheelchair "Swami" Bob reads m...
Info
Length: 6:12 | Views: 52
Category
Category: Parody & Spoofs
Submitter
EdDruckman's Avatar
Uploaded by EdDruckman on 10/10/08
Jibs:
1
| Jabs:
0
Round Dog vs Suare Hole
Title
Round Dog vs Suare Hole
Info
Length: 0:42 | Views: 16
Category
Category: Animals & Nature
Submitter
Silver Rose's Avatar
Uploaded by Silver Rose on 10/10/08
Jibs:
1
| Jabs:
1
Get ready for winter
Title
Get ready for winter
Info
Length: 0:30 | Views: 270
Category
Category: Bar, Alcohol, Drinking
Submitter
lazydogg's Avatar
Uploaded by lazydogg on 10/10/08
Jibs:
2
| Jabs:
0
Fruitcake Lady
Title
Fruitcake Lady
Info
Length: 3:22 | Views: 149
Category
Category: Guides & Advice
Submitter
lazydogg's Avatar
Uploaded by lazydogg on 10/10/08
Jibs:
4
| Jabs:
0
Gipsy lady wins!!!!!
Title
Gipsy lady wins!!!!!
Info
Length: 0:50 | Views: 121
Category
Category: Commercials & Products
Submitter
lazydogg's Avatar
Uploaded by lazydogg on 10/10/08
Jibs:
2
| Jabs:
0
perception test
Title
perception test
Info
Length: 2:42 | Views: 237
Category
Category: School & Education
Submitter
lazydogg's Avatar
Uploaded by lazydogg on 10/10/08
Jibs:
2
| Jabs:
0
Nazareth Hair of the Dog Spoof
Title
Nazareth Hair of the Dog Spoof
Info
Length: 4:09 | Views: 111
Category
Category: Parody & Spoofs
Submitter
JimCervasi's Avatar
Uploaded by JimCervasi on 10/10/08
Jibs:
2
| Jabs:
0
American Hi-Fi The Break Up Song
Title
American Hi-Fi The Break Up Song
Info
Length: 2:58 | Views: 97
Category
Category: Rednecks
Submitter
Sniper1941's Avatar
Uploaded by Sniper1941 on 10/10/08
Jibs:
3
| Jabs:
0
See All »